Working Mom

Two weeks ago yesterday I returned to work. My company gives 10 weeks paid maternity leave and I tacked on 3 weeks of vacation (one before she was born and two after) giving me three full months at home. 12 weeks of full time mommyhood is just not enough.

I got to watch her find her hands and learn how to get them into her mouth. I got to see her first smile and the hundreds she’s given out since. But will I be there the first time she sits up on her own? The first time she crawls? Will I be around for her first steps? If I’m lucky, I’ll get to catch these things. But, you know what?  I’m lucky to have her! So if I get to see her walk a few hours after those first steps I have to believe that that’s ok too.

It’s been so hard to come back to work. Every morning I watch her wake up with a huge smile on her face. I get to change her and get her dressed for the day. Then I hand her off to her daddy for her first bottle while I finish getting ready to catch my bus to the office. As much as we wish it were different, she’s lucky to have her daddy home to take care of her. I’m lucky to have him home with her. I think this would be even harder if she were in daycare.

I wish we could trade places. He does too. I get 10 minutes in the morning and three hours in the evening. It’s not enough.  But, damn, those are the best three hours of the day (even when she’s being a little fussbudget)!

Mommy loves you, A! Every second of every day.

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